Lent 3 – Oculi March 7, 2021
Exodus 20:1-2, 14 - The Sixth Commandment
Love and Marriage
Exodus 20:1-2, 13 And God spoke all these words, saying, 2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery… 14 “You shall not commit adultery.
LSC You shall not commit adultery. What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honour each other.
Dear friends in Christ, this morning we are going to be talking about a rather sensitive subject—one that is not often openly discussed in church—sex—especially as it pertains to the institution of marriage. Marriage is an excellent thing—a matter of divine seriousness. God honours this estate highly for by His command He both approves and guards it. Think back to Genesis. The Lord instituted marriage before all other estates—indeed, He created man and woman separately so that they might live together in marriage, be fruitful, bear children, and then nourish and train them in the fear and love of God.
And yet today, dear friends, no other institution on earth, with the exception of the holy Christian church herself, is under more attack, than that of marriage. We see this in skyrocketing divorce rates among both younger couples and older couples—indeed, so-called “grey divorce” (divorce between people who have been married for 25 years or more) is on the rise. We have seen the traditional definition of marriage—as that lifelong union between one man and one woman—undone by our governments approving “gay marriage,” and it is further threatened by polygamy, living together before and without marriage, as well as adultery and fornication.
With all of these attacks on marriage—a divine institution by God—why are we still so silent? Why are we not more vocal—both inside and outside of church? Christian families as well as pagan, unbelieving families, are deeply affected by divorce—“broken homes” being the norm today—with children living with an assortment of “parents” and their current love interest—there is no base—no solid support system for many children—and yet people wonder why so many children suffer from behavioural issues.
Are we silent because we are afraid of the world? Afraid of their reaction to our “stodgy and conservative” attitude toward sex and marriage? Sometimes this is so, as we see more and more backlash against people who do speak out: jobs are lost, lawsuits are threatened, not to mention the public shaming on social media against any who hold to traditional views of marriage, sex, and family.
But perhaps we are also afraid of that three letter “s” word, sex, and don’t feel it is right to discuss it openly in the church. Yet the Scriptures themselves teach us that sex is a good gift of God, as long as it is practised in the bonds of holy matrimony. For through this He allows human beings to participate in His creative work, by bringing forth children into the world. Therefore, God has set up all other institutions, such as government, to provide for the support and benefit of marriage.
Though this commandment takes specific aim at the sin of adultery (that is, when a married person gets intimately involved with someone who is not their spouse—either physically, emotionally, or both), yet this commandment also is directed against all kinds of unchastity. And we don’t have to look very hard to find a whole host of examples for this kind of thing, do we? From prostitution, to abuse, rape, homosexuality, pornography, lewdness (inappropriate dress), to obscenity (gross and inappropriate jokes or gestures or words). Fornication (ie sex before marriage or outside of marriage—especially those who live together—playing at marriage, but with no commitment), divorce, adultery, as well as forced chastity (that is, enforced celibacy on priests, monks, nuns, etc.) are all types of unchaste behaviour. Even within the bonds of traditional marriage, husband and wife can sin against this commandment by treating each other as objects for personal pleasure, rather than good gifts of God to be cherised.
Very few people have been given the gift, and it is a gift from God, of being able to lead a completely celibate lifestyle. Therefore, chastity is not a matter of simply vowing to live a celibate life (like our Roman Catholic friends seem to think—ie that being a celibate person is better than another), but rather true chastity is found in honouring God and one’s spouse with one’s whole being: thoughts, words and deeds.
And there is the crux of the matter, isn’t it? Some of us may be tempted to think that we have kept this commandment rather well in our lives. We don’t use foul or disrespectful language—we have never cheated on our spouse—we have never succumbed to the tempting addiction of pornography—etc. Hear Christ’s words to those who think this way (Matthew 5:27-28). “You have heard it said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Well, that does it right there, doesn’t it? Thought. You may be able to control yourself physically and resist sexual temptation, however it comes to you. You may even be able to keep a tight rein on your lips and how you speak, but you cannot—CANNOT—control the depths of your heart. Jesus says (Matthew 15:19-20a), “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.” As soon as some good-looking individual walks by on the street, or at the beach, or is paraded before you on TV—where does your mind often go?—the gutter! We don’t mean to. We certainly don’t want to think that way as Christians—but we DO.
And we break this commandment even worse by the way we talk about and practise marriage before others—especially our children. We don’t love and honour each other rightly. We don’t give freely of ourselves to our spouse in all things. More than ever we need a Saviour to rescue us from the deadly situation in which we find ourselves. We do not love one another as St. Paul directs in 1 Corinthians 13, so often read at weddings—for our love is not perfect—our love is not selfless. Nor do we submit to one another sacrificially as Paul directs in Ephesians 5. Wives fail to respect their husbands and husbands fail to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
But therein we also see our hope and our salvation. For our love—our commitment—our honour—toward our bodies and the bodies of our spouse—or those of our neighbour—is not what it should be. Indeed, everyone should love and value the spouse that God gave to them (or pray that God will give to them). “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33) For where marital chastity is to be maintained, man and wife must by all means live together in love and harmony. Then one may cherish the other from the heart, and with complete faithfulness. For harmony is one of the principle points that enkindles love and desire for chastity, so that, where this is found, chastity will follow without any command. If we truly loved, honoured and respected one another as we are supposed to—we would never stray—nor would we even be tempted to do so.
But our hearts often not filled with love—but lust. Indeed, what many people today call “love” is actually “lust” of the flesh—a desire for personal gratification and nothing more—to use another person is not to love them. We hurt and harm one another by what we say, think, and do, causing rifts in marriage—disparaging Christ and His church—through spousal and child abuse—divorce—hurtful words and angry shouts. We have much to repent of.
We need—we absolutely must have—a purity and holiness that is found somewhere other than within our own corrupt sin-blackened hearts. Once again, we find that Jesus is the answer. Jesus is our Saviour. For though He was tempted in every way that we are—yet He was without sin. He withstood the assaults of the devil and even those of the flesh and the world—His relationship with every woman He encountered was one of chastity and love and respect. As He was never married (contrary to the fanciful theories of Dan Brown and the Discovery Channel), He lived a perfectly celibate life, while at the same time honouring the estate of marriage by performing His first miracle at a wedding celebration.
The Lord Christ perfectly kept this commandment in all that He thought, said, and did. And by virtue of your faith—His life of sexual purity decency—is now yours as well. His chaste and true love for all people is given to you as though it rightfully belongs to you—and because of your faith in Him—it truly does!
He has taken your lustful thoughts and deeds—He has taken your many sins—and borne them to the cross in His own flesh—that by the sacrifice of His body into death—the sins of your body might be taken away. Removed by the blood of Jesus. His holy body sanctifies your body and soul. Breaking the bonds of sin and death—Christ has breathed into you His life and perfection.
Through His mystical union with His bride, the church, Christ has washed and sanctified each of you in the cleansing and redeeming tide of His blood. The stain and guilt of your sin has been removed and in its place you now wear the pure white robe of Christ’s own righteousness. For in Him and through Him you have forgiveness, life, and salvation. For He has loved you perfectly, and selflessly given Himself over to the just wrath of God for your sin and death—that by His death and resurrection—you might be set free. Now that is love and marriage at its very best. Thanks be to God in Christ Jesus. Amen.
Exodus 20:1-2, 14 - The Sixth Commandment
Love and Marriage
Exodus 20:1-2, 13 And God spoke all these words, saying, 2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery… 14 “You shall not commit adultery.
LSC You shall not commit adultery. What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honour each other.
Dear friends in Christ, this morning we are going to be talking about a rather sensitive subject—one that is not often openly discussed in church—sex—especially as it pertains to the institution of marriage. Marriage is an excellent thing—a matter of divine seriousness. God honours this estate highly for by His command He both approves and guards it. Think back to Genesis. The Lord instituted marriage before all other estates—indeed, He created man and woman separately so that they might live together in marriage, be fruitful, bear children, and then nourish and train them in the fear and love of God.
And yet today, dear friends, no other institution on earth, with the exception of the holy Christian church herself, is under more attack, than that of marriage. We see this in skyrocketing divorce rates among both younger couples and older couples—indeed, so-called “grey divorce” (divorce between people who have been married for 25 years or more) is on the rise. We have seen the traditional definition of marriage—as that lifelong union between one man and one woman—undone by our governments approving “gay marriage,” and it is further threatened by polygamy, living together before and without marriage, as well as adultery and fornication.
With all of these attacks on marriage—a divine institution by God—why are we still so silent? Why are we not more vocal—both inside and outside of church? Christian families as well as pagan, unbelieving families, are deeply affected by divorce—“broken homes” being the norm today—with children living with an assortment of “parents” and their current love interest—there is no base—no solid support system for many children—and yet people wonder why so many children suffer from behavioural issues.
Are we silent because we are afraid of the world? Afraid of their reaction to our “stodgy and conservative” attitude toward sex and marriage? Sometimes this is so, as we see more and more backlash against people who do speak out: jobs are lost, lawsuits are threatened, not to mention the public shaming on social media against any who hold to traditional views of marriage, sex, and family.
But perhaps we are also afraid of that three letter “s” word, sex, and don’t feel it is right to discuss it openly in the church. Yet the Scriptures themselves teach us that sex is a good gift of God, as long as it is practised in the bonds of holy matrimony. For through this He allows human beings to participate in His creative work, by bringing forth children into the world. Therefore, God has set up all other institutions, such as government, to provide for the support and benefit of marriage.
Though this commandment takes specific aim at the sin of adultery (that is, when a married person gets intimately involved with someone who is not their spouse—either physically, emotionally, or both), yet this commandment also is directed against all kinds of unchastity. And we don’t have to look very hard to find a whole host of examples for this kind of thing, do we? From prostitution, to abuse, rape, homosexuality, pornography, lewdness (inappropriate dress), to obscenity (gross and inappropriate jokes or gestures or words). Fornication (ie sex before marriage or outside of marriage—especially those who live together—playing at marriage, but with no commitment), divorce, adultery, as well as forced chastity (that is, enforced celibacy on priests, monks, nuns, etc.) are all types of unchaste behaviour. Even within the bonds of traditional marriage, husband and wife can sin against this commandment by treating each other as objects for personal pleasure, rather than good gifts of God to be cherised.
Very few people have been given the gift, and it is a gift from God, of being able to lead a completely celibate lifestyle. Therefore, chastity is not a matter of simply vowing to live a celibate life (like our Roman Catholic friends seem to think—ie that being a celibate person is better than another), but rather true chastity is found in honouring God and one’s spouse with one’s whole being: thoughts, words and deeds.
And there is the crux of the matter, isn’t it? Some of us may be tempted to think that we have kept this commandment rather well in our lives. We don’t use foul or disrespectful language—we have never cheated on our spouse—we have never succumbed to the tempting addiction of pornography—etc. Hear Christ’s words to those who think this way (Matthew 5:27-28). “You have heard it said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Well, that does it right there, doesn’t it? Thought. You may be able to control yourself physically and resist sexual temptation, however it comes to you. You may even be able to keep a tight rein on your lips and how you speak, but you cannot—CANNOT—control the depths of your heart. Jesus says (Matthew 15:19-20a), “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.” As soon as some good-looking individual walks by on the street, or at the beach, or is paraded before you on TV—where does your mind often go?—the gutter! We don’t mean to. We certainly don’t want to think that way as Christians—but we DO.
And we break this commandment even worse by the way we talk about and practise marriage before others—especially our children. We don’t love and honour each other rightly. We don’t give freely of ourselves to our spouse in all things. More than ever we need a Saviour to rescue us from the deadly situation in which we find ourselves. We do not love one another as St. Paul directs in 1 Corinthians 13, so often read at weddings—for our love is not perfect—our love is not selfless. Nor do we submit to one another sacrificially as Paul directs in Ephesians 5. Wives fail to respect their husbands and husbands fail to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
But therein we also see our hope and our salvation. For our love—our commitment—our honour—toward our bodies and the bodies of our spouse—or those of our neighbour—is not what it should be. Indeed, everyone should love and value the spouse that God gave to them (or pray that God will give to them). “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33) For where marital chastity is to be maintained, man and wife must by all means live together in love and harmony. Then one may cherish the other from the heart, and with complete faithfulness. For harmony is one of the principle points that enkindles love and desire for chastity, so that, where this is found, chastity will follow without any command. If we truly loved, honoured and respected one another as we are supposed to—we would never stray—nor would we even be tempted to do so.
But our hearts often not filled with love—but lust. Indeed, what many people today call “love” is actually “lust” of the flesh—a desire for personal gratification and nothing more—to use another person is not to love them. We hurt and harm one another by what we say, think, and do, causing rifts in marriage—disparaging Christ and His church—through spousal and child abuse—divorce—hurtful words and angry shouts. We have much to repent of.
We need—we absolutely must have—a purity and holiness that is found somewhere other than within our own corrupt sin-blackened hearts. Once again, we find that Jesus is the answer. Jesus is our Saviour. For though He was tempted in every way that we are—yet He was without sin. He withstood the assaults of the devil and even those of the flesh and the world—His relationship with every woman He encountered was one of chastity and love and respect. As He was never married (contrary to the fanciful theories of Dan Brown and the Discovery Channel), He lived a perfectly celibate life, while at the same time honouring the estate of marriage by performing His first miracle at a wedding celebration.
The Lord Christ perfectly kept this commandment in all that He thought, said, and did. And by virtue of your faith—His life of sexual purity decency—is now yours as well. His chaste and true love for all people is given to you as though it rightfully belongs to you—and because of your faith in Him—it truly does!
He has taken your lustful thoughts and deeds—He has taken your many sins—and borne them to the cross in His own flesh—that by the sacrifice of His body into death—the sins of your body might be taken away. Removed by the blood of Jesus. His holy body sanctifies your body and soul. Breaking the bonds of sin and death—Christ has breathed into you His life and perfection.
Through His mystical union with His bride, the church, Christ has washed and sanctified each of you in the cleansing and redeeming tide of His blood. The stain and guilt of your sin has been removed and in its place you now wear the pure white robe of Christ’s own righteousness. For in Him and through Him you have forgiveness, life, and salvation. For He has loved you perfectly, and selflessly given Himself over to the just wrath of God for your sin and death—that by His death and resurrection—you might be set free. Now that is love and marriage at its very best. Thanks be to God in Christ Jesus. Amen.